There was a time in my life when I decided that enough was enough.  I decided to quit a toxic situation at work even though I was great at my job, received excellent feedback at my performance reviews, enjoyed what I did, and liked most of the people I worked with.  It is true that sometimes you unfortunately have to “throw the baby out with the bath water”. 

It was a huge decision to go, but ultimately one that I was at peace with.  Enduring bullying is not worth sacrificing your health and wellbeing for, no matter how much money you are paid.  And, provided you have enough financially to see you through several months and are not starving or homeless, having another job ready and waiting for you is not necessarily going to be there on a silver platter.  It often feels like all of the planets have to be aligned.

So I started a fresh job search and it was not that long before I had the opportunity to apply for a few roles and was overjoyed at getting interviews.  To cut a long story short, I was successful in eventually gaining new employment in a role which was different to what I had done before regarding the duties and task focus.  Despite this, I was ready, confident, willing to learn, and wanted to use my skills differently.  A job is a job, right?  Fantastic conditions and location, so what could be better?

So I started my new job and was very excited.  As I have done for all of my previous roles, I knew that I had to give myself time to settle in, get used to the environment and systems, get to know my colleagues, etc.  But something was not right.  I felt like I was in a foreign place and wondered what I was doing there.  “Just new job jitters,” I thought to myself, and so I ploughed on.  Never mind that I had noticed but ignored several red flags before and just after I started.  Just little things, I thought, and nothing to cry foul about. 

But the feelings persisted.  I thought about the future and whether things would improve or stay the same.  I found myself consulting Google (as one does), searching for articles and advice about what to do if your new job doesn’t feel right, the ramifications of quitting a new job, etc.  Not taking this research lightly, I also consulted family and others.  After giving it some time and a real chance, I did something I have never done before – quit a new job.  This was not the action of some mad and flippant serial job hopper, as I had previously remained in strong and stable employment for many years.

Why does this happen?  Do we get cold feet or is there something more to those off feelings we can have when beginning a new job?

If you feel that something is askew, and you cannot shake off the negative vibes, then you must take the time to be silent, reflect, pray, speak to others, and do what is best for you.  Only you know if you should stay or go.  After all, you will be the one commuting to your new workplace, sitting at a desk for hours, and investing all of your energy, time, and emotion into it.  Are you truly into what you are doing? 

Note: what follows below presumes that you are not in a desperate or precarious situation.  If you are thinking of quitting but do not have enough in savings to support yourself or your family over a long period of time (i.e. at least 6 to 12 months), or are lacking necessities, food, stable accommodation, good health, provisions for children, or have huge debts, etc. then any job is a good job.  Don’t make hasty decisions – if you have a job hold onto it until your personal situation improves.

So, presupposing that you are not in the above situations, what follows is advice – based on my experience only – for job hunters or those considering quitting a job: 

• Do a stock take of your skills first.  Find out what you love and what you are great at doing in your past or present roles, and in your spare time – this is where your talent is, no matter how humble.
  
  
• Always, always, always apply for jobs that you truly want and can honestly see yourself doing for at least a year or two (unless you are willing to do almost anything or are deliberately applying for temporary roles).  Please don’t waste a potential employer’s time or yours by applying if you don’t really want a role.  If you have any doubts ask questions before you apply.  If you still like the sound of the job, aim to get an interview to find out more, and then decide from there.
  
  
• Take the time to dig a lot deeper into a position description.  These documents can be very vaguely written at best, so ask specific questions about the role and daily tasks.  You aren’t being difficult or picky, but just want to be sure.  There is nothing wrong with showing keen interest.
  
  
• It is okay to refuse a job offer if you feel that something is not right and it does not fit you – listen to your gut – it is often on target.
  
  
• No amount of money will truly satisfy you unless you actually enjoy the work you are doing all day long.  Ask yourself: “Would I still be doing this if I wasn’t being paid?”
  
  
• You don’t have to stay at a job you hate (or which is impacting your health and wellbeing) for X amount of months before securing another one, unless you can’t afford to – see Note above.  I’ve read internet articles insisting on staying in a role no matter what you are going through.  I disagree, as long as you are not desperate.  You have to be happy doing what you do.  Full stop.
  
  
• Work should not be a misery.  You don’t have to suffer for the sake of making money.  Do not sell your soul.
  
  
• Can you see yourself doing your work every single day?  You are the one who has to sit at that desk for hours on end doing what you do – no one else.  How do you feel about that?
  
  
• Never ever fall for the perks as your primary motivator.  Nothing else compensates for the work you will actually be doing, and the people you work with – not the pay, location, conditions, window views, free snacks, a fancy job title, etc.  If you can’t stand your daily duties, these things won’t matter. 
  
  
• If you aren’t going to work smiling or feeling like the guy in the photo above (at least for 50 per cent of the time – yes, no job is perfect), then you might want to reassess why you are working where you are and doing what you do.
  
  
• Ask a range of people about their experience and views before deciding to resign from a job.  Some quotes (among many) which I found to be helpful were:

“You have to look out for yourself. No one else will.” (Anonymous)

“If you stay, and commit yourself to doing something that you can’t get passionate about, then you’ve sold your soul.” (Lynda Spiegel)

“No amount of money is worth dry heaving every morning due to stress. If you’re that bad, get out. You’ll find something else.” (Keith Johnson).

I have heard it said repeatedly that grabbing any job and learning as you go will look good on your resume.  It will show that you can build your skillset, are adaptable, flexible, industrious, resilient, and able to fit in anywhere – a Jack or Jill of all trades.  These things may all be true, however, I believe that you must never underestimate the importance of being honest with yourself when job searching.  Life is too short to do otherwise.    

Some may disagree with what is suggested here, but I hope that it will serve as a warning to everyone working or seeking work.  You deserve to be happy.

In my experience I would say that you absolutely must listen to your intuition when you apply for a job, and especially pay attention at job interviews.  Look for the intangible signs – how people treat you, how they shake your hand, if they look you in the eye and smile, if the work atmosphere seems relaxed or tense, and watch out for any red flags (you’ll sense what they are). 

This process is never totally infallible and you can only truly find out about a role once you start, but you need to be switched on and ask the questions you really want to ask.  Don’t let that little bit at the end of a job interview – when they ask you if you have any questions – go to waste.  Use your time wisely.  A job interview should not all be one-sided.  It is worth taking the time to find out as much as you can about them as they are about you, before you dive in further. 

You also need to value the special skills, experience, and training you have built throughout your life, and trust your intuition at all times.  Don’t underestimate your needs.  You want a job that values everything you have to offer, gives you the freedom to apply your best skills, rewards your strengths, transforms your weaknesses, respects your potential for growth, and gives you opportunities for development.  Yes, I honestly know that is hard to find, but keep looking and expecting better for yourself.

Making the decision to leave a job is a big problem for many people because they can feel stuck and simply have no idea what to do once they are out (aside from the money/survival worries).  How can a future job mismatch be avoided?  What if you fear making another mistake when applying for the next role?  Is it safe to get excited about a new advertisement?  How can you trust people and organisations again?

It can also be difficult to know what you truly enjoy or are passionate about, and still make a decent living.  Sure, what you really love may just be a hobby on the weekends, but can it be a real job you get paid for and be enough to survive on?  How do you know? 

Phew! I know this was a very long post, and somewhat preachy at times, but having been through so much myself I know how it feels, and I don’t want you to fall into the same situation I did. Or if you already have, I want you to know that you are not alone. If you are feeling lost, don’t lose hope, there is always a way forward – it is just a matter of time. For more ideas about the future, stay tuned for my final post in this series, ‘Part 2: Worker, be true to you – What now?’.

Image Credit: pixabay.com